Elusive Balance

My google alert for Slow Cities delivered this article to my inbox today. It couldn't be more timely. These past few months I've felt/been more busy than I can ever remember. In some ways, I crave it - it provides, in a weird way, a sense of purpose and accomplishment. I frequently have looked at other people's lives and thought "Wow, they do a lot and really make the most of their time - but how?" I have wondered why I can't seem to eek as much out of my days as they can and sometimes feel I should be doing more. Yeah, I've been really busy before but there always is an end in sight - end of the semester, project at work will wrap up and there isn't another one due for a while, etc. It isn't that I am not enjoying what is currently happening (for the most part) but it does make me think of some of the things that I do enjoy but are being lost in the shuffle, or worse. Are these costs really worth it? Or should am I to find a better way of creating the ever elusive balance of gray where the black and white crash together?

There are also points I find myself with nothing to do and, as the article highlights, this causes me great anxiety. "What, free time and nothing to do? Uh-oh, that means I am going to start thinking about things!" I usually escape (or is it avoid) this anxiety by going for a ride but there are moments when this is not possible - and my idle mind explores unsavory depths. It is a difficult balancing act to find the right amount of "up" time, be this professional or personal in nature, and "down" time where one can take stock of where things are at and where they want to be going. This is especially challenging when one (a) doesn't know how to do this well and (b) doesn't have a clear vision of where this crazy ride of life is headed. 

Strap on a helmet and get a full-suspension bike with a good granny gear because things are coming hard and fast with lots of rocks, roots, grinding climbs, and screaming downhill chutes. Try to keep it rubber side down but if you do take that risk and end up off trail or worse, pick things up, put the chain back on, clip in, and learn from that little journey over the edge cause your bound to find something similar down the trail in the future.