Out of key

I am playing in an orchestra but I don't know the composition.

I think I do, I want to believe I do; sometimes I can almost hear it before it begins to play.

These fleeting moments fade rapidly away into the din of the day.

I look for the conductor but the bright lights blind me.

I am forced to play my own ensemble.

Those who surround me seem to play in melodic harmony with each other, effortlessly following those who lead.

Why can't I? What's keeping me so out of tune, out of synch?

I try to anticipate the next notes.

Sometimes I am spot on but these moments are frustratingly very few and far between.

Usually my effort is premature or way too late.

Try as I might, I can't feel this music.

I want to.

I need to.

It eludes me.

This saddens me.

I keep trying but with each passing note, my hope drifts away.

The harder I play, I think, the more likely I am to find my place, my rhythm, my piece.

I know this is foolish.

When will I learn? I wonder daily.

Probably when it is too late, long after the music stops.

In the end, I am alone in the concert hall.

Dust settles in the room

Each particle caught in the currents of air created by the wake of depture

Lit by the stage lights, reflecting up the bright lights that shine down.

There is no crowd to please,

No conductor to follow,

No fellow musicians.

No, it is as it was when this all started.

one, alone.

It is not how I want it to be but, it seems, how it needs to be.

Slaterville 100

Yesterday I attempted a metric century, which is 62.5 miles. This wouldn't have been an issue if it had been an all-pavement and road bike endeavor. Well, maybe that's not entirely true. I am still fighting a lingering cough from the cold a few weeks back and I am way down on my mileage this year. Whatever the excuses, I finished half of the Slaterville 100, which was a mix of pavement and seasonal use (gravel/dirt) roads. It was organized by Cayuga Ski and Cycle and was a very challenging course. A group of riders on everything from cyclocross bikes to fixies met at the Brooktondale Market for a 10am roll-out. There were cue sheets with a good map and elevation profile distributed. Right out of the parking lot there was a steep climb and I began to question my ability to complete the ride in total. My initial plan was to ride the first half and evaluate my condition to continue or call it a day.

The group quickly divided into a front and rear pack with a few folks in between - including myself. After the first climb I realized I wasn't in the condition to keep up with the front group and would probably be riding by myself for the day. That was ok as it is how I am most used to riding. A cold wind (it was in the upper 40s) cut through my clothing so I appreciated the climbs to keep warm and didn't stop for many pictures although the fall scenery in the southern tier was brilliant. We wound our way through an area around Route 79 surrounding Slaterville. While the ride was advertised as 90% dirt roads, this wasn't necessarily the case, which at points was frustrating but still ok. The ride was very well marked (only missed one turn and was able to easily reconnect with the route).

About 20 miles into the ride we encountered Beam Hill. Let's talk a bit about Beam Hill. This is no ordinary hill. No, Beam Hill is a grueling, punishing, hold you down and kick you again, hill. I enjoy climbing. I prefer climbing to going downhill. I know, this is probably a sadistic, masochistic condition. I enjoy the challenge, the taste of blood in the mouth as you push the body a little past the physical edge, the split second decisions needed to pick the right line, the sense of accomplishment that comes when you hit the top and spin out a little to let the burn subside in the quads. Well, let's just say Beam Hill might have rewarded some with that but not me. I knew this was going to be a grandpappy of climbs before we hit it because earlier this summer I tried to drive my brother's car up it and, well, had to back down it because it was too steep and rocky. On a bike, I was ok on the climb through the paved section - I was going slow but making progress. Kind of a "slow and steady wins the race" situation. The paved section gradually kicks up, increasing in steepness until the road changes to gravel. At this point, I knew things were going to be ugly. I dismounted and started pushing. I thought of all the riders in Race Across the Sky that did this. Here I was in my own Leadville doing the same. Well, that climb just kept going. There was a false summit where I remounted only to be kicked off again. I stopped about halfway up this second section to refill my water bottle when I was passed by three people RIDING up this beast. I was humbled and amazed. Cheers to you, brave souls. I stopped to take advantage of the generous food drops by the folks from Cayuga Ski and Cycle - a gu shot never tasted so good. It is amazing, however, how quickly you descend the 700' of climbing you hoofed up.

The ride continued to undulate, climbing back up through Hammond Hill. I hear this is a place to ride but the trails we were on were a muddy mess. Some had no clear passage around so through it was. It was at this point that my feet got soaked. By now, my quads were spent from the climbing - I was using my granny gear on just about every uphill and I am typically a middle ring rider so I knew I was beginning to fade. I also was finding my nutrition - dark chocolate Snickers, Gatorade and Pepsi - to be insufficient for keeping me powered up. After descending out of Hammond Hill - a bit squirrelly on gravel and leaf covered roads with mtb tires at 40psi - I took a hard look at the situation. Still 35 miles of riding to go, at least the same amount, if not more, of climbing, and a cut off 5 for decent light. Time to pull the plug on this adventure. I rode along 79 back to the car. I counted a dozen cars still in the parking lot so I think I was one of the first to do just half of the course. I am saving the route and cue sheet - I will revisit this course, more prepared and with the intention of completing the whole deal.

It was fun, tiring and worth every moment.

Evil Temptress

Stumbled on this tonight. After a crazy week at work, I might just be crazy enough to try it. Sunday's supposed to be sunny but the word on the street is this is full of steep climbs. I skipped out on last weekend's cyclocross race and this isn't a race so the only thing I'll be working against is sunlight...

Just came across this article. Probably should employ some of the "letting people know" measures since I do 99% of my riding solo...

Through the seasons

Spring 2009

Summer 2009

Fall 2009

Today was another great fall day. After a busy week at work, and another one on the horizon, I decided to for a lackadaisical, short ride. I took the opportunity to revisit a spot where I've taken a photo in the previous two seasons. Although the sun shone brightly, the brisk air and slight breeze took my breath away until I acclimated. Starting at Onondaga Lake Park, I rode north to 370 and then about halfway to B'ville. Certainly wasn't out to set any speed records but just to enjoy the day. Another smell of fall, burning leaves, faintly hung in the air. A half dozen or so friendly cyclists passed in the other direction.

I passed by the site of the Syracuse Cyclocross Grand Prix I briefly thought about entering but didn't for a number of reasons. For some reason, I missed out on the cyclocross races in Rochester but I will some day try my luck at cyclocross racing, even if it is on a mountain bike.

Fall Ridin'

Fall is one of my favorite seasons to ride in - crisp air, beautiful colors, the crunch and rush of leaves under your tires, the way late afternoon sun makes everything glow. Yesterday after some work around their house, Kevin and I took to the trails at Ontario County Park. The crew from GROC has been doing a great job cutting new single track so it was great to experience their handiwork again.

I've been under the weather lately. Couple that with very little riding time at all this season so I was in no shape to rip things up. Kevin says this allows him to keep up with me more but I think he underestimates his potential. Now that his bike has a new BB7 rear brake, he should be ready to take it to the next level.

We started out on some of the easier trails that comprised the Hard Core 24 course. I was very glad for the trees because up on Gannett Hill, the air was a touch beyond crisp - more like biting. I actually longed for uphills to keep the fire burning - extended downhills brought on a chill. We explored some moderately difficult trails (according to their posted rating) and then finished things up on the most difficult trails. Wound up getting turned around at one point - need a map next time - but made our way back to the car in time for a cool sunset and purchase of grape pie from a roadside stand. This was my first grape pie experience - it tastes like a mix of grape jelly and grape juice.

It was great to have someone to ride with again.

Race Across the Sky

Check this out - a documentary about the 2009 Leadville 100. Can't wait to see it on Oct. 22. It is a one day only event so find a viewing near you.