Rebuilding

In February I was afflicted by an illness (or many, still not sure) that kept me down for many weeks. I probably antagonized the situation by running 13.1 miles in near freezing temps but regardless of who or what is at fault, being under the weather for weeks on end has been not so much fun. I have a little over a month (one day over to be exact) to try and get ready for my next scheduled 1/2... sounds painful.

But rebuilding always starts with a first: step, mile, stone, wall. With the arrival of spring, longer days, warmer temps, and the return of birds I haven't heard in many months, I am for the first time in a while looking forward to new beginnings, or at least not looking back so much. I've been working on some projects around the house, brewing new beers, and thinking about the future in ways I haven't in a while. Time and distance are finally doing what they should, giving me the strength to start rebuilding. Putting up walls, parsing the great from the not so great, stepping back and looking at what's left, what I want to keep and what should be discarded. And also moving on to new things, deciding what to be open to in the future, and what should be passed by. Most tangibly, now that I am (nearly) healthy, I am looking forward to being able to run again, and ride!

It seems it will always be one day at a time, but the days, and the absence, grows less burdensome. For this, I am thankful. "So I think it's best we both forget before we dwell on it."

Epicurean Adventures: Ice Cream

For my most recent birthday, my family and friends gave me an ice cream maker, adding to my "things I could buy but instead I attempt to make from scratch and then eat" list. The list started probably started with cookies and cakes when I was in college and too cheap (or broke) to buy sweets at the store. And mom didn't keep up with my demand...

My friend Chris got me hooked on brewing my favorite, beer, when he gave me a Mr. Beer brew kit for Christmas one year. When I returned from a summer in England, he'd liberated my unused kit and accidentally lagered an ale, which turned out to be a dead ringer for the local beers I'd been drinking in many of the English pubs I'd spent the last three months visiting. The rest, as they say, is history - I've been brewing ever since and occasionally blogging about these adventures here.

Next I added cheese, also my favorite, courtesy of my brother and his desire to make fresh mozzarella. I've dabbled in a few cheeses, mainly mozzarella-esque but also one farmhouse cheddar, which was mildly edible. I will revisit this soon but as of late have been focusing on ice cream, which I would also count as my favorite. This makes three favorites, I know. What can I say, I am indecisive.

Flavors I've made include French vanilla, raspberry Nutella ripple, caramel with homemade caramel swirl, and now almond butter swirl with dark chocolate and cranberry bits. For those allergic to nuts, stop reading now because the rest of this will only pain you. This is by far the best ice cream I've concocted yet. Here's the ingredients:

Almond Butter Ice Cream with Dark Chocolate and Dried Cranberries

• 2 c. half & half
• 2 c. heavy whipping cream
• 2 tsp vanilla 
• 8 egg yolks
• 1 c. chopped dried cranberries
• 1 c. chopped dark chocolate
• 1 c. almond butter
• 1 c. heavy whipping cream

I warmed and mixed the almond butter with 1 c. whipping cream to make it smooth enough to pour and mixed this with the ice cream after churning it. This I chilled with the custard mix before churning it and then lightly warmed it again enough to make it slightly viscous. I spooned a few heaping spoonfuls of ice cream into the container, then added the almond butter cream mixture, then a generous helping of cranberries and chocolate and repeated this layering until it was full. I stirred the ice cream a few times to distribute the additions throughout the cream a little before freezing. It is delicious! Hint of almond, crunch of chocolate, tartness of chewy cranberry... 

Time to heal

To heal is human. From the instant the doctor slaps us on the ass, we're a collection of cells frantically playing damage control. As little ones, these battles are largely physical - first bumps, scrapes from those wobbly, untrained legs giving out, and the like.

Somewhere along the way we begin to add new injuries, those that can't be fixed with a kiss from mom or Scooby Doo bandage. We learn that these wounds are just as painful, sometimes more, and the body's recipe for repair isn't as prescribed as sending in a bunch of white blood cells and later building new tissue. No, we must discover the paths to healing on our own, figuring out what works best in making the pain disappear. A passionately violent roar, music a few decibels too loud, a close friend's ear, family support, and many dusty (or muddy) miles are a few of the things that come to mind. And just like the learned response of not touching a hot stove twice, we need to learn not to repeat the offenses that cause searing anguish.

While life is a learning experience, and the journey has many nuances, I would like to think that I am at long last beginning to close a chapter, learn from while also cherishing its experiences, and dust myself off from this recent, but really not so, tumble. My strong desire to have everything work out well makes it difficult to just let go but I'm tryin', I swear.

I'm looking forward to a new riding season of physical bumps and bruises to cover up those emotional ones that have been holding me down as of late. And I'll continue to add to my healing repertoire until that time when these old bones can no longer muster their restorative powers, forcing me to ride off into the great single track heaven.